One more month to go.
Even though the school hasn’t closed the applications as of the date writing, I suppose that there’s a high probability that I will be going back to student life in July.
Going to work and working for something which you are gradually losing interest in…is a torture.
Let me establish myself clear first. I still like aspects of what I am doing – writing, fooling around with the staff, executing campaigns and events etc.
But day by day, I feel myself deviating away from the brand direction. Not only that, I am no longer interested in anything marketing related. Everytime when there are marketing discussions, I find myself hearing what was being said instead of listening. In case you are wondering, yes there is a difference between these 2 verbs. You listen with your heart, your full attention, and your mind. While hearing is just having words pass through one ear and escaping from the next.
I don’t feel connected with the main target audience the brand is reaching out to – 25 to 40 year old working ladies with sedentary lifestyles. Maybe I was one in the past, where I couldn’t find time to exercise and so I compensated by eating healthier. But what really attracted me to the brand was the taste of home – when I first tried the broccoli, it tasted similar to how my mum cooked it.
As we move on, our routines change, so do our aspirations. After taking up dragonboat, I increased my workout frequency and exercise on an average of 4 – 5 days a week. I burn a lot more calories, which made me turn to more carb heavy food. Whenever I go to the outlet for lunch, I end up eating 2 bowls of rice because I will be going for a workout or go hungry later in the day. In the meantime, the brand’s target group are very calorie conscious and often ask for less rice.
I still love my mum’s food. But it also became apparent to me, through the repeated marketing discussions, that these 25-40 year old ladies may not be looking for the homely feeling in their food. But instead something meat-free and balanced because of their health consciousness. Yes I am still health-conscious, but on different terms. And it is gradually becoming difficult for me to position myself and relate to this target group.
I am also starting to feel like a misfit because I want to reach out and help a bigger audience, and empower their health as a whole – not just diet. I don’t intend to limit my knowledge to Lion Mane Mushrooms, Konnyaku and Soy Beans. You see where I am getting at?
Sometimes I feel as though I did not put in all my effort when trying to handle a task, or simply even listening to someone talk about work related matters because my heart is somewhere else. And I would feel guilty and mad at myself afterwards because I did not do my best. It’s a vicious cycle. My colleague says the guilt feeling was due to a sense called “responsibility”. I am trying hard and counting down to wrapping up the existing projects and events I have on hand. But it is so hard because I am not a good actress in hiding my feelings and putting on a fake front. I have a dream to chase, but unfortunately my dream is not to help someone else fulfill their dream and immersing myself in something which I no longer feel connected with.
One more month to go.
SuperRandomWorld 