Thank you 

Will keep it short because long thank you texts are annoying. 

To everyone whom I have worked with;  thank you for your patience and for giving me the opportunity to grow and learn. It has been a humbling experience 

To all the customers I have served, thank you for the affinity and for tolerating my mistakes. 

Thank you mum and dad for your support, and for staying up to wait for me to come home. 

Thank you BF for being there for me 

Long way to go 

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The Meaning of “用心”

用心- to put your heart and soul into something, doing it sincerely with attention. 

Today I understood what it meant… from another angle. 

The bf brought me to safra to play bowling. I never had an interest in bowling. But since he suggested…oh well. 

Okay I admitted I was switched off throughout the whole game and just blindly threw the ball onto the lane…Equivalent to “doing the bare minimum/ doing the worst possible”. 没用心. 

The disinterest was apparently reflected through the bowling ball rolling into the drain everytime. Each time I failed, I got even more exasperated and demoralised. And each time bf urged me to try again, there was this passing thought in my head that the ball would surely end up in the drain again. Sure it did. Self-fulfilling prophecy.  

And then I had enough and just gave up on bowling… and myself. There is always a 2nd time when the ball gets delivered back to you to clear off the remaining pins (to consider as finishing off the game), but no I didn’t even want that 2nd chance. 

I guess he was really disappointed about it cos he used to be in the school team and stuff…and then this bitch showed outright rejection to his interest completely. I mean I do support him playing bowling, but to get myself involved… sorry no thanks. 

This is the analogy of  用心 in a negative sense. 

Time to sleep. It’s 3.35am and I am tired out from the emotional baggage weighing on my mind.