Commencement 

I didn’t attend. 

Okayyy people are going to slate me for being stupid for missing out a once in a lifetime opportunity, and for being an unfilial child because my parents didn’t have the chance to see their hard work and efforts pay off. 

I didn’t want to attend because I see no value in this degree. Yes this whole commencement thing is a rite of passage, but what is the point of doing so when I couldn’t relate myself to the whole symbolism behind it? In fact my decision of not to attend was made up last year when I already lost the passion for my course. 

So while others were happily posing and posting their photos on facebook… I was working another 10 hour shift. I don’t have any regrets. I rather learn what is common sense, how to work smart and how to build a team. 

And coincidentally my dad got hospitalised during this period. Apparently he was coughing quite badly so my mum brought him to SGH A&E and he had to be warded. And SGH being SGH scheduled the CT scan next Monday, which meant more days of worrying, more trips to the hospital, hospital bills etc etc.I was working overtime during Hari Raya because the orders were overwhelming, until I checked my phone and saw the whatsapp from my mum. 

Even if I registered for commencement my parents wouldn’t be able to make it anyway. 

Working life and being a student are worlds apart. I don’t have the energy to explore places and get into excitement mode. My off days are for sleeping and lazing around and I really need some quiet time alone after dealing with customers for the most of my time. 

And lastly, I have deactivated my instagram. I rather delete my social media accounts than to give anyone my password, or being asked to remove any of my friends off the list. 

I am fine. I have to be fine even if life is not going fine for me.

Okay bye. 

Pray for Humanity

One Paris Attack and the world loses its mind.

In the meantime, hundreds of innocent civilians in countries like Syria, Lebanon, Gaza lose their lives everyday. Yet the world is silent and these attacks go unmentioned. 

It is more than Praying for Paris. Pray for Humanity instead.

RIP to those who died in the Paris Attack. RIP to those who were killed but forgotten.

image

Grunge Medley

Sometimes you meet someone,
and it’s so clear that the two of you, on some level, belong together.

As lovers, or as friends, or as family, or as something entirely different.

You just work, whether you understand one another, or you’re in love or you’re partners in crime.

You meet these people throughout your life, out of nowhere, under the strangest circumstances, and they help you feel alive.

I don’t know if that makes me believe in coincidence, or fate, or sheer blind luck, but it definitely makes me believe in something.

Maybe one day we’ll find the place where you and I could be together.

And we’ll catch our dreams within the waves of change.

So smile for me one last time and believe that we’ll meet again.

Until then, I will be missing you.

Please Listen to the Introvert

Yet another long week has passed.

What I am desiring for is to recharge myself in a quiet place, away from noise and distraction. The last thing I ever want to do is to mingle with unfamiliar people in any social situations. I find it difficult to conjure a reason to turn down the invite, as well as explaining what an introvert needs.

I want to be alone, and I don’t wish for any company- but how should I phrase it in a polite way, so that outgoing people won’t feel hurt for their nice gesture?

No I am not anti-social. I take longer to get along with people. The fact is I can never get along with everyone, especially if the person is loud, boisterous, bimbotic and disrespects my need for privacy. I don’t see the need to understand them at a deeper level.

It is not that I don’t make the effort to talk. I just don’t dominate group conversations. I like to listen and sometimes laugh for the sake of laughing. I will shut myself off in large groups if the talk doesn’t interest me. But if the topic falls into my areas of passion, I can go on for hours.

You may enjoy yourself during parties, drinking sessions, clubbing, ktv-ing. But those are the activities at the bottom of my bucket list (apart from teaching). People, people, people everywhere. It is torturous to the introvert when they are with people whom we aren’t close with. It feels superficial. Again, I don’t see the need to understand about your crazy side, nor to witness your unpredictable behaviour after getting drunk or high.

People may rebut that dancing and yoga are activities where you are also surrounded by people. But that doesn’t involve much socialising with others. Apart from some small talk with a few people, most of the time you are interacting with yourself to discover where your mind, body and spirit lie that day.

But I am not ashamed of myself being an introvert. Just leave me alone to enjoy my date with myself.

AKBingo Gone Viral!

Anyone saw this video yet?

Picture2

Thanks to Paz, those 11 seconds of AKBingo episode 337 just went viral.

And like any source taken out from its original context, erroneous interpretations will surface. I just had to insert this historian jargon because the situation really calls for it.

Most comments flooding the post and reposts broadly fall under the categories of “Eeeew”/”Disgusting”, “Japanese are weird”, “WTF (Did I just watch)?!?!?!”, “OMG SHE ATE THE COCKROACH!” and some sexual references. In all honesty, I thought those overreactions from the internet community were funny, especially all the meme comments.

Anyway since this video got misunderstood, I should probably clear the air a bit (and hope that this post would be read).

1. That bug is not a cockroach. It is a cicada. A cooked one. The annotations even state that cicadas are a cuisine.

Picture3

2. The video is one of the punishments for Muchaburi Dodgeball, which is a popular segment of AKBingo. Basically members who got hit by the ball have to do a forfeit as indicated on the ball. Eating cooked insects is actually a common forfeit of the show.

3. As much as most comments term it as “sick” and “weird”, cooked insects are a delicacy in many countries around the world. Would you consider their insect dishes to be disgusting and bizarre if that’s the case? Go google “Entomophagy” before forming your opinions.

4. Fear Factor uses live insects and contestants have to swallow them whole or soak in a whole tub of bugs. This video only involved 1 dead bug that has been disinfected and cooked thoroughly. Seriously I don’t understand why people are overreacting when there are times when reality shows employs insects to even more extreme levels.

bear-grylls-would-own-fear-factor_o_323281

In conclusion, before you label the cicada as a cockroach, I advise that you do your research properly. Like watching AKBingo episode 337 on youtube for a start. No subtitles yet but actions speak louder than words. Alternatively you can go to the stage48 forum and read up on AKBingo. You are welcome.

Paralysed

image

Can you believe this is my first proper meal for the day? For breakfast I ate a bowl of cherries and a mini coco pop. For lunch I ate a dorayaki. Nope I am not fasting or on a diet (I won’t eat chicken chop if I am on a diet anyway). I just have no time to eat.

Sounds incredible yeah?

This week was hell. After knowing that I have a presentation for my assignment last week, my mind totally went blank. I had no idea what research topic to embark on. Throughout the weekend and monday I was reading up on the available books I can find, with a mind so paralysed that I could not think properly. On Tue which is the day of consultation, I still had no topic to discuss with the prof.

After settling on it, I had no idea how to come up with an argument, and looked up for even more sources instead. On Thurs I was rushing through the preliminary and still doing it on Fri morning, right up till 2.20pm. Rushed out of the house and cabbed to school. Felt very carsick while running through the slides on my tablet and thinking of a possible script.

The preliminary was another hell. I had no idea how to write it because I thought it was an honors thesis thing, so I surfed the net for formats and writing examples. It was distressing filling up 3 pages (instructions said 3 page write up plus bibliography) until I realised that the bibliography is included in the 3 pages when I looked at the material presented by others.

Presentation wise…I don’t think I did well. Given all that stress, I ended up not answering the question I established. Failure moment.
It is only my 1st honors module and I have already paralysed myself with so much stress. How am I going to cope with even more honors modules to come?

Still I am glad this week is over, even though I have to turn in the revised draft 2 weeks later.