Breathe Penang Part 2!!!

Finally part 2 is here! and 2 more days before I share this field trip with international students.

So here we have some posh cafes around georgetown. This is from the Leaf Healthy House, which is a vegetarian eatery.Very refreshing furnishing of place. Cant stop taking pics of the decorations.  So if you want to go for the healthier alternative (in terms of food, noise and sight) this is the place for you. But anyway there are more vegetarian eateries opening in Penang.  

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Alright that hat and scarf belongs to my prof. But I thought that arrangement was rather artistic.

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Ok then here is another cafe which we stopped by while interrogating the tour guide with our questions for the assignments. Love how they combine the old and new elements harmoniously within an existing colonial shophouse structure.

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This isnt from a cafe, it is from the 5 star hotel where we had out buffet. I havent touched nor seen a piano for 5 days and this is the very first one and very last cos we are leaving already! 3 star hotels dont have pianos. Booo.

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These are the street art which make Georgetown distinctive. Shall not elaborate further. Just read my assignment. The wire art is the winning entry of the Making Georgetown competition organised by the Municipal council, while the wall murals are done by Lithuanian artist Ernest Zacharevic. Also including some unclassified ones. Anyway didnt manage to capture all so just presenting the more presentable.

Zacharevic incorporates some real life objects into his artworks like the chair and bicycle. Both are painted in conjuction with the Georgetown Festival last year. Pretty refreshing, I would say.

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This is dedicated to trishaw peddlers who often wait at the Francis Xavier Church for business.

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This looks damn creepy if you look at it during night time.

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So here are some of the wire art which present the history of the street in a comical and engaging way

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Shadow effect shot in the evening

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And then here are the unclassified street art done by various artists

This is by Artists for Stray Animals showing a cat parade. Yeah with art, you can go anywhere!

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And I dont know who did this, but it is kinda meaningful. Instead of crafting dreams, one should go out there in life to fulfill his dream and make it into concrete action.

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And here is the townscape of Georgetown. Presenting the rustic streets which combine the contrasting forces of old and new.

Anyway here is the building outside our hotel

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Some toy festival that was going on near a temple if I didnt remember wrongly

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Cerita Lebuh Chulia. It is an oral history project to gather stories of the residents living in the area like their memories of Chulia Street. And the personal recollections are recorded in speech bubbles and fixed to a ‘resident’ made of paper. Not much responses collected yet as they just set up the exhibition a day ago. But still that was rather creative and a lot of hard work is needed to map out every detail of the street. Kudos!

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Anyway this guy is super talented. But one bag cost RM55 😦

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Some bicycle parade going on

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So here is a classic example of a traditional shophouse in the rustic area. Time seems to have stood still there.

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And here is where they combine the old and the modern. Well I thought the camera museum is a rather interesting and new concept since the townscape is so photogenic. So why not capture some memories here? Anyway it combines an art gallery with vintage cameras.

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And now my favourite part…. abandoned shophouses.

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This one really looks like the ancient ruins of Rome.

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I really wonder how it looks like inside.

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And this is the supposedly famous chicken rice in Penang

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Anyway some unclassified pics. Just read the descriptions.

This is outside the shop where we bought local products. Initially dont know what to get even though Penang is famous for its 老婆饼. My mum was telling me not to get them cos she prefers the Hong Kong one and I dont eat this kind of pastry. So I saw this thing called Sak Kei Ma and remembered my mum mentioning it a couple of times so I decided to get one pack for her. Anyway I was eating it one day out of hunger and the taste was quite fragrant!!! (Although I cant tell what it is made of). In the end I ended up eating majority of the leftovers (after giving some away).

But anyway isnt this old couple cute? Wish my future boyfriend turn husband and I will be like this when we are old. #foreveralone

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This is taken during our ferry ride. And to our horror, we discovered that Penang is actually an island.

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This is the seaview from a cafe while we are brainstorming over our assignments

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Haha just a random shot of this merry-go-round outside the shopping mall during our free time.

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And lastly… some of my shameless shopping haul. It is not as if I am so possessive and materialistic. I gave some of my haul away.

This is from Beadszone from 1st avenue. There is also another branch at the Penang airport. Selling at 3 for RM10. Gave the necklance away. I personally liked it cos I thought it was quite simple but cheerful. Anyway I am still having problems adjusting the bracelet and I havent figured it out yet!

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Bought from a bazaar at the hotel vicinity. Apparently there is this stall selling a wide range of bracelet charms to choose from and yeah I got those which characterise me. I got the fan because I am always in need of the fan at home.

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And the wall mural fridge magnet. Now come to think of it I should have gotten the whole set but the fridge surface has no space to accommodate any more magnets.

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Ok this is very lame. From a candy store (forgot the name) at the airport. Dont judge me! I gave the jellybean and the keroppi away and I am going to stick that poster onto the wall when my dad decides to renovate the house.

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Alright this is my hello kitty haul! Bought from Eikojia. Gave away the earrings, the ring and the clip. Come to think of it I should have bought a wallet there as a back up for my 15 bucks hello kitty wallet. And maybe one more watch as well. OK FINE THE WHOLE SHOP. Anyway the earpiece is working quite well. Turned out to be a strong bass stereo sound.

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What I was annoyed with was the mirror. The packaging said it is a 2-in-1 mirror and comb so I thought maybe the comb is a separate component. But in the end when I took out the mirror from the packaging, the comb turned out to be like this. Like you press it from the back then the comb teeth will pop out. And to my anger the back of the mirror gave me trypophobia. So I used deco tape to conceal that part to prevent myself from getting the creeps. Retarded or what. 

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Moving on… this is bought at a fair held at Khoo Kongsi. Pretty cool pendant which comes in a glass bottle. But if someone smashes against my chest and breaks that bottle I will end up strangling that person.

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And last of all the chilli chocolate which I am addicted to eating right now. It is the small chilli which you see at the fish noodle stall in food courts.

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Yay and that’s all for the trip! Had a blast there apart from the assignments. Feel so glad to discover this quaint little town and appreciate its charm.

 

No one ‘Likes’ me!

This post isnt teaching you how to get more likes on FB or Instagram. But instead I am telling you that it is PERFECTLY OK not to get any likes or shares or comments for your posts.

So are there times where you have posted a status thinking that is is “cool”/”appealing”/”controversial” enough, anticipating at least 10 people to like your status, but when 8 hours have passed, you still have no likes?

Or maybe to avoid feeling like a loser, you remove your posts which have no likes or comments at all?

Alright to be honest I have felt that way before. It is perfectly fine! Let me just share my experience here.

I posted about my dad recovering from his operation on FB. Even uploaded a photo of him. Anyway it did get 10+ likes cos of the likers’ well-wishes (I hope!) But then it so happened that my schoolmate posted about her securing a place in some exchange programme in Japan around the same time. And when I looked at the number of likes it was 30+. So my initial reaction was ” What the fuck? My dad is more important than some bloody exchange programme and he got lesser likes!”. And true enough given my jealous character I was grumpy for a few hours.

I admit that was childish-ness on my part. It is certainly not worth it to get envious just because someone has more likes and comments than you. And no one will think you are a loser just because of that. Your life isnt measured by the number of likes or comments.

Yeah I agree that seeing likes can make you feel upbeat and motivated because you feel that there are people out there supporting or just simply agreeing with you. But then again, social media is only virtual. There are greater things in life for you to accomplish, and more challenges to conquer. Will your future employer recruit you into the company just because you have an average of 1342 likes for the statuses you post throughout your 10 years of using FB?

Your self-worth isnt determined by the number of likes and comments you get on social media. And more importantly you should not let that rule you down. You dont have to fish for social media likes to prove that you are a wonderful person. You can shore up your self-worth and be influential in real life, and in many different ways. Help the needy. Support a cause like preventing animal cruelty. Be evangelistic. Just as long as you make a difference to the lives of others for the better.

So yup. You dont have to point a gun to people to like your posts as the world is democratic. Everyone’s personal experience varies and thus they find different things to resonate with. It is ok if they dont like your status, because they dont have to. More importantly is how people like you as a person in real life, and how you can find your place in society through contribution. Have a great day!

Have you ever

So here is how it goes….

Have you ever met this person, be it in class, orientation camp or interest group, whom you realise that he/she has a relatively similar personality as you, even the way he/she whatsapps or talks. Like you thought the phrases you use are exotic enough, and you encounter a person who also uses them

And you realise he/she actually keeps a blog with an equal magnitude of randomness like yours? Maybe something you will not expect from he/she normally does?

And then you found out that both of you share something in common, but have never talked about it in the real life context?

And you suddenly feel as if you know so much about he/she through his/her blog, but get the feeling that he/she has never read yours? (Or maybe he/she does but both of you just arent making it known to the other party)

And maybe both of you have even more similar interests or have the same way of living life and approaching problems, just that both of you havent discovered it from the other side yet?

It may be just pure co-incidence. But in a sea of billions of people with diverse personalities, meeting someone who is alike you, is fate.

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-Will do up part 2 soon.

-I am addicted to watching the TVB drama The Confidant! It is a distorted historical drama on the eunuch Li Lien-Ying and his palace life, from a Cixi-sympathetic perspective. Well even though it is fictional, we can still see some historical themes like the Qing’s struggle to westernise or to stay their traditional ways, when they are facing the wave of western threat. And there is the opium addiction among chinese villagers, but the show didnt attribute the opium as a vice brought in by the west and the court’s reactions to it (Maybe the timeframe didnt fit). I will cut the crap here. Maybe will do a review on it.

-Helping out at SPCA. Will update soon

Breathe Penang Part 1

Finally… the photos from Penang field trip.

Disclaimer: No one from the course is in any pics. And there is only 1 pic of myself to show that I am physically there

And I think I am falling sick soon. Luckily summer school is over and I can fall sick all I want until school starts 3 weeks later.

Anyway… Here is some of the Penang food. Or rather what we ate there.

Hawker food. Had Hokkien mee. Chili is nice.

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Lunch at a vegetarian restaurant. Surprisingly I am starting to like vegetarian and organic food ever since my dad’s operation. Not turning vegetarian cos I am still living on fish. (Cut down on chicken intake).

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Tomato spaghetti

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At some cafe facing the sea

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Penang laksa. More sour than spicy. Roar.

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At fruit farm eating durians. So there is this mangosteen with 2 worms inside. The other one is hiding somewhere cos it is camera shy.

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Finally a filter pic.

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Last day buffet at EnO hotel

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Local chap chye bng for lunch. We were comparing how much we spend on our meals and one of them spent RM13. Joke sia.

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Going indian for dinner. Advice: It is better to eat using your hands.

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Mango Lassi

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At Fort Cornwallis. It was initially built by the British during their colonisation of Penang to ward the island off from pirates but the fort is never used for battle. Can see a couple of cannons here and ammunition storage areas. During WW2 the Japanese and Germans used it as a naval base for submarines. Sir Francis Light (founder of Penang)’s statue is placed here. (Actually the facial appearance of the statue is his son.)

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At Khoo kongsi. Love the elaborate structures. The architecture is a mix of chinese dragons, western motifs and skih guards. Material and construction skills all painstakingly done by China craftsman. Main worship is their village protector deity Ong Soon Yah and Tua Sah Yah, as well as the ancestors of the Khoo clan. But they also brought in deities from China like Mazu and Guan Yin to retain their ties with their homeland and cater to the different religious needs.

And look out for the laughing and sad buddha. Buddhism teaches that sorrow is part of life and is a component of suffering. There is a laughing buddha who takes away all our sadness and stuffs them in his tummy but more importantly we should learn how to accept the situation and let go, if it is beyond our control. It is all part of experiencing life. Lol I think Buddhism makes more sense to me than Christianity. I gonna get whacked soon.

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Not part of the iternary but we stumbled across this chocolate museum while we were wandering about near the hotel. Bacially they just explain the history of chocolate and coffee and how they are produced through wall murals.

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Also not part of itenary but this is taken from the Camera museum. Photography has become a trendy hobby here since there are many rustic shophouses, posh cafes and street culture to caputre.

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The snake temple en route to Georgetown. There are real snakes acting as decorations around the temple grounds. Pretty freaky, I would say. But the temple organisation is capitalising on this unique feature. Anyway, snake skin is really nice to touch!

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The snake farm. Saw a couple of posionsous snakes like the rattlesnake and the guide tried to piss it to let us see it being pissed. And the cobras look intimidating. And the farm kept a rooster which crowed until it had sore throat.

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I forgot what is the name of this building but I remember it was at the esplanade.

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The Penang state flag and the Malaysian flag. Patroitic.

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The Penang State Museum

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The Protestant Cemetry where various races of Protestants are buried here such as Sir Franics Light. Surprisingly his tomb was rather humble as compared to the elaborate designs of others. Saw some tombs as early as 1722. There is a Catholic one next door but it is less organised and it floods sometimes when it rains.

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At the Penang Japanese Association having tea ceremony. Kudos to the Japanese women for their ability to kneel so long throughout the ceremony. And one interesting fact which I learnt is that one should never wear metallic items during a tea ceremony cos the metallic field disrupts the harmony and nature of the surroundings. Anyway this is the tea bowl. And there is a step to appreciating them like putting it away from you across the line and bowing and whatever. Forgot already. Too procedure-ised.

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The tea powder which we used. I forgot the actual procedure of how to drink cos it was so complicated and confusing.

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A rather lonely shot of a Karayuki-san’s grave under the flower bush. As compared to the protestant cemetery, the Japanese cemetery was more well organised and visually sparse cos the Japanese association make it a point for the japanese students to clean up the graves twice a year.

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The Penang War museum which was actually a fort built by the British in lieu of WW2 but it was never used and subsequently forgotten. Anyway the Japanese used one of the rooms as a torture chamber. It felt more like an advanture trail since there are random ghost statues around to scare people at night. And we ended up crawling at tunnel which leads to a 9m climb on a ladder.

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And lets move on… last part of part 1 is some randoms. Just read the captions.

So here is me donating to the Malaysian St John and that is my Prof in the background. Pic stolen from fika wika on flickr.

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And this is taken when I was unpacking my stuff at home. The Malaysian St John didnt give stickers unlike the Singapore ones. It’s just paper with the word Flag Day in Malay. So it is hard for me to prove to other flag day participants that I already donated since I have to keep fishing out my wallet from my bag and showing them a piece of paper which only occupies 5% of my wallet space.

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ARUGHHHH HELLO KITTY CHARMS WHY YOU NO COME TO SINGAPORE 7-11!!!!! The Tokidoki series was weird so I didnt bother to collect it. This one is a bracelet charm collection!!! Hell I am a fan of bracelets ok!!!! I would have bought the entire 7-11 if it was this series! But anyway I didnt buy the whole shop cos the promotion started on 1st July which was our 2nd last day in Penang. And the class was like “Sorry, we cant help you with this.” Lololol.

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A stray cat outside the P. Ramlee museum which the girls (including me) fussed over with while waiting for the rain to stop. It wasnt aggressive, surprisingly.

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And to end off part 1… A dog at the driver seat. Its owner saw us taking pictures of the dog and she was cringing in her seat due to all the embarassment.

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Part 2 in progress! And I have a brief sharing on 31 July with the international students to introduce to them parts of SEA where they can visit. I am going to use the Penang field trip (cos I am lazy) and I havent prepared anything yet.

Street art in Penang

Disclaimer: This is one of my assignment which I submitted as part of the field trip. I have no idea what my grades are when I am typing this. Dont hate me if there are parts which are incomprehensible. Appreciate!

And for blogging purpose, I took out the footnotes cos chicago citation looks screwed up in wordpress. But the list of sources I referred to are below.

The value of wire art in Georgetown, Penang

Introduction

In the contemporary age, the streets we live in have transformed into canvases for people to express themselves through art.  Street art carries the notion where unsanctioned visual art occurs in a public or private space. In this aspect, art is brought to the masses through daily exposure with environments which they are familiar with. As compared to graffiti, street artists have freedom to utilize any medium which they deem best to portray their message and style. However it also has connections with the controversies of graffiti and research has been made to analyse whether street art is a crime of vandalism.

Wire art in Penang

Moving on to the Penang context, I will focus on wire art which constitute a significant part of its street art culture. These sculptures started out as a project called “Marking Georgetown” to celebrate Georgetown as a UNESCO heritage site. These welded iron wall caricatures featuring the work of Penang cartoonists such as Baba Chuah are erected around the alleyways of the area. Despite being termed as street art, they are approved by the government who has intentions of promoting Georgetown as an international heritage tourism destination. As such, these iron sculptures are displayed under a controlled art exhibition. In my reflection I will be assessing the value of street art in Penang. By looking at its benefits and drawbacks, I will also argue why these shortcomings can be forgiven.

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Figure 1

As seen in figure 1 above, wire art in Georgetown adopts a comic style narration of the historical background of the area. It provides a refreshing portrayal of art by making a 2D comic come alive on walls.  As the designs are drawn by artists who grew up in Penang, these wire art encompass a local flavor which further adds an intimate connection between the art and the location. This is so as these artists have acquired sufficient understanding of their locality before designing their piece. Besides, the energy possessed by the characters in these cartoons injects vibrancy in an otherwise rustic environment, since the façade of shophouses are still unchanged from the past.

Art for masses

If we were to broaden the definition of art, we can see that art does not confine itself to conventional paintings institutionalized in a gallery, but also includes art that is brought to the masses. By presenting wire art at an up-close and personal level to the public, the elitist connotation of art is gotten rid of. As compared to an art gallery which limits visitors to appreciate a stagnant painting in an enclosed space, the lively expressions of wire art characters enables the public to appreciate them in an environment they are exposed to everyday- the streets. Therefore, it is hoped that by portraying art in a medium that is more intimate to masses, they will be able to value it due to greater familiarity.

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Figure 2

On the other hand it is challenging to assess whether the public truly value street art. Unlike art galleries which keep records of visitor statistics which allows one to infer the level of public appreciation, there are insufficient quantifiable factors for street art. Furthermore, from my observations, the surroundings around the streets of Georgetown can affect the mood for appreciation. With reference to figure 2, we see that the art piece is blocked off by a car, thereby causing the view to be obstructed for the visitors. As the wire art are generally placed along roads with disorganized traffic, the public may find it distracting having to watch out for cars while at the same time viewing the art work. Hence, due to the unfavorable environment and lack of suggestive figures, it is difficult to determine if the public appreciate the wire art.

However, appreciation of wire art takes place in the form of visitor interaction with the artwork through picture-taking and posing with the sculptures, and then sharing them on social media. While researching on the topic, I discovered that most of these interactions are posted on personal blogs, with compliments of the art being “interesting” and “quirky”. In this aspect, there is a new meaning to appreciation, thereby not solely regulating it to the accustomed definition of evaluating the assets of the work and analyzing the drawing styles of the artist. Besides, as these wire art narrate about the history of the streets, they are being cleverly integrated into the milieu to create a better atmosphere for appreciation.

Art representing history

The use of audience-friendly caricatures bridges the gap between visitors and their understanding of the history of Penang, therefore wire art can be an appropriate medium of presenting history. This is so as exaggerated cartoons bring about a light-hearted environment to learn about history since they are more attention-grabbing than a signboard of words. Besides, the characters portrayed in these wire art reflect Penang’s cosmopolitan culture since they belong to different ethnic groups. The significance of wire art is further enhanced since they are situated at the exact physical location to narrate history. As such, audiences can better connect with the place visually.

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Figure 3

With reference to figure 2, the image presents two businessmen of different ethnicities greeting one another with a friendly hand gesture. It is also supplemented with explanations of the origins of the street “Lebuh Muntri” and its business past. As this particular art is placed at Lebuh Muntri itself, the historical importance of wire art is further emphasized since it is now a representative of a physical space. Besides, by illustrating the harmonious relations between businessmen of different ethnicity, these wire art celebrate the peaceful co-existence between the various communities. Therefore, the value of wire art in terms of presenting history is that it can connect the visitor physically with the past, and to recognize the multi-cultural heritage of Penang.

The downside of using wire art to present history is that it only covers a superficial meaning of the area’s past instead of delving deeper into its dark period of times. For instance, the diverse ethnic cultures presented through wire art hides Penang’s experience with the 1969 Malaysian racial riots. Penang Chinese who lived through the riots still have recounts of terror and their fear of being attacked by Malay youth. However, the Malaysian government has since limited public discourse of sensitive issues and prohibited discussion of these topics such as Malay special rights after the riots. As wire art is part of government initiative to capitalize on Penang’s multi-cultural heritage for tourism purposes and to promote racial harmony, sensitive subjects have to undergo scrutiny and are presented under a neutralized image.

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Figure 4 Image credit to http://www.travel2penang.wordpress.com

Moreover, the use of icons to represent a location can be misleading if the image is not being interpreted properly. With reference to figure 3, a girl wearing a kimono is used to characterize Japanese women who frequented along Cintra Street. With no explanation of the identity of these women in the art work, it can result in speculation among the visitors whether they represent the Geisha or Karayuki-San (Japanese Prostitutes). More often than not, one would associate the Japanese women as Geisha since there is a stigma in the image of Karayuki-san that is difficult to get rid of, due to the profession they are in.Therefore, as icons can reflect another dimension of meaning, its vague interpretation can distort the original background of the area.

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Figure 5

However, I recognize that there is no better way to symbolize Karayuki-san since they adopt a similar dressing as geisha to attract business. It is inappropriate to present Karayuki-san crudely as it will reflect badly on Penang as a multi-cultural heritage centre, since the Japanese may feel offended by a sensitive topic. Besides, we have to relate back to the colonial days on how Karayuki-san are recognized at that time. With reference to figure 4, Cintra street derived its local name from geisha houses. As Karayuki-san are associated with geisha girls, it is justified to display them in geisha icons since they are being known as such by the locals.  Therefore, although the use of cartoons to present history can be misleading, their drawback can be forgiven once we put the production of these cartoons into the context of the time.

Conclusion

Overall, as wire art in Penang is displayed under government scrutiny, it is unable to enjoy the freedom of expression found in the works of other street artists who can utilize the streets as opportunities to send political messages. In determining the value wire art, we realise that its benefits also has downsides concurrently. However we need to be mindful of the context when we assess its drawbacks, as some of the shortcomings can be forgiven should we put them into perspective. Meanwhile, the fate of wire art remains unknown as it is a current fashion statement of Georgetown for the public to appreciate and part of government strategy to promote tourism till they implement a more creative idea.

Bibliography

Alpaslan, Zeynep. “Is Street Art a Crime? An   Attempt at Examining Street Art Using Criminology.” Advances in   Applied Sociology, 2012: 53-58.

Dearborn, Lynne M., and John C.   Stallmeyer. Inconvenient Heritage: Erasure and Global Tourism in Luang   Prabang. California: Left Coast Press, 2010.

DeBeranrdi, Jean Elizabeth. Penang:   Rites of Belonging in a Malaysian Chinese Community. Singapore: National   University of Singapore Press, 2009.

Gleaton, Kristina Marie. Power   to the People: Street Art as an Agency for Change. Masters Dissertation,   Minnesota: University of Minnesota, 2012.

Huges, Melissa L. Street Art   and Graffiti Art: Developing an Understanding. Art and Design Thesis,   Georgia: Georgia State University, 2009.

Paniso, Alfredo, and Erlinda F.   Rustia. Introduction to Art Appreciation and Aesthetics: An Approach to   the Humanities. Manila: UST cooperative, 1969.

Warren, James Francis. Ah Ku   and Karayuki-San: Prostitution ion Singapore 1870-1940. Singapore:   Singapore University Press, 2003.


Let’s talk about choosing guys.

I gotta get this off my mind before I forget any longer.

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So there is this girl called Jane who tripped on a guy named Alex while boarding a train back to Snow Hill where her parents arranged a matchmaking session for her. Alex is the confident sunny guy while Jane is the shy, clumsy, flabbergasted person. Anyway she found herself sitting opposite him on the train ride cos of the adjacent ticket numbers, and he lent her his coat cos she was cold. She was really shy throughout the ride but she fell in love with him. But then there was her internal conflict on deciding which guy she wants to spend the rest of her life with. So anyway when the train reached its stop, she ran off with Alex’s coat….the coat got hooked onto a branch and she fell in the snow (again!).

When she reached the cafe she met the guy (Jordan? I forgot the name) whom her parents arranged the matchmake with, but her mind is still full of Alex. Then Jordon saw that her ear had fallen off and asked her if she knew that (Not kidding here! the weather is too cold). Of course Jane panicked, but Jordon didnt help her at all like calling an ambulance or helping her search for it. He was just sitting there, saying things like “the ear cant be separated from the body for too long if not it cant be saved”, “do you need to go to the hospital” blah blah. And then it dawned on Jane that Jordon only knows how to speak, but not how to act. So she ran out into the snow searching for her ear and found Alex holding it (ridiculous. I wonder how he found it).  and then…she found her true love!

It sounds absurd when it takes one to lose an ear in order to realise what guy she truly wants. But there was one point which struck me, which was the part where Jordon was all talk no action while Jane was panicking away. Come on, when you are in trouble, who would be in the mood to listen to all the crap the other person gotta say? Personally, I just hate that.

Well apparently I have been talking to some guys whom I met online. Went out once with them before as a friend so we know a bit of each other’s background. I have no intentions of developing anything further in case shit happens again like last time (side note: after I deleted that whatsapp chat he didnt send me anymore messages). And I have become more critical and judge-y in terms of the way they communicate and their approach to some of my matters. And from the way they deal with it… it’s wrong.

It’s just wrong!

Let me explain.

It happened during the time when my dad was still in hospital. Well I felt rather grumpy missing out on my social life, having to spend my time from 9 to 6 in hospital. It is not that I am unfilial or whatever. But seeing my friends on fb posting pictures of their outings, I felt envious. So I was just complaining to one of the guys I met.

Me: I feel a bit sian.  I cant wait to get my life back.

Guy 1: Oh why sian? Cos must visit your dad everyday? Maybe you can tell them you have something else to do. Or they will still force you to go?

NO THIS IS NOT HOW YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO DO IT.

Maybe because he hasnt experienced the shit I have gone through before that. But sure enough that inconsiderate answer irritated the hell out of me. I would prefer something like “He is your dad after all and it is your duty to take care of him. Hang in there and a few more days your life will return to normal”. Come on! “tell them you got something else to do”? I just hate it when there are people who try to come up with all sorts of excuses to evade the problem. Yeah sure enough I was just complaining. But I am not a tortise who tries to escape for my own selfish means.

Another one.

I quarrelled with my mum 2 weeks ago and I was so angry that I posted this status on facebook: “Wtf early in the morning quarrel with my mum. I wish I am living alone”. One of my closest guy friend whom I met online commented, while another irritating one pm-ed me. Let me list down their comments as comparison.

GM: hey chill yea. it could be just some miscommunications/misunderstandings that spark off into a quarrel. hope all is well between you and your mum soon.

Irritating guy: Saw ur post quarrelling with mum,don’t sad or angry ok

Dont be sad or angry? How can I not be sad and angry when I quarrel with someone? 更何况 my mother! I will greatly appreciate if you can just identify the problem that spark off the quarrel or give me some tips on effective communication.

So what is the whole point I am trying to make?

1. Never go for guys who are like Jordon. Even though you may be telling them your problem through a social media platform, but still they need to rack their brain to give you a practical solution that encourages you to face your problems or identifying where you went wrong.

2. Never go for guys who want nothing out of you except to ask you out. Especially when the entire convo is “when are you free to meet up?” No. I am never free. I am expensive. My time is expensive and I rather spend it on someone whom I truly like than to waste it on someone dim like you.

Be like Jane, open your eyes. Sure that there will be an internal dilemma over deciding your happiness. Probably it takes a major crisis like losing your ear that will make you realise who is the right guy to go with. But still it is your authority to decide on who you want to spend with for the rest of your life. Treasure it.

Bad mood

I dont know what is wrong with me. I am having a very bad mood nowadays and I blow up easily at whatever minor things which irritate me.

Summer school is ending soon next week. Something which I was looking forward to since the start of semester 2…finishes in 6 weeks. Soon it will be back to a rigourous cirriculum and god-knows-how-much-difficulties-and-setback-i-will-face environment. Despite all the heavy and crazy workload, I had a great time during this period. I just dont want summer programme to end.

Will be spending the rest of my 2 weeks helping out at SPCA, giving tuition and basically just slacking at home. My brain needs a break.

I hope my 2nd year will be more eventful that my 1st year, which is full of wrong and impulsive decisions. It is time to adopt a new stratregy and I have to make the initiative.

Ok back to rushing my assignment.

PS i havent confessed to him yet.

PPS my ex just started to talk to me again yesterday and today.  I didnt bother to reply today. I deleted that chat from whatsapp.